forgeting things

While working on fixing a slow-draining dishwashwer, Emi calls downstairs to me, "Mom, what was your room number in the hospital?"

"Uh, you mean when I had Evan like almost 5 years ago?"

"Yeah"

"I have no idea"

"How could you forget something like that?"

.....

It's snowing. I'm not ready for winter yet, but it seems to come anyway, ready or not.

......

I'm trying to be better than I am. Sometimes I think I'm making progress but then sometimes I still have breakdowns and it seems like I haven't made any progress at all. Like tonight. I had a fight with Taylor and I think it started with the dishwasher but somehow ended up a lot of other unrelated stuff and after a while I forgot exactly why we were arguing. Lame. Work is stressful, kids are stressful (yes, I know, I'm greatful, love them, etc. but if I'm being honest here which I try to be there are moments of raising them that are downright hard and stressful) marraige is hard and sometimes all of the stress comes to a head. Like when the dishwasher is backed up and dinner's not ready and the dirty dishes are all over the counter and Taylor says he's starving and maybe he should just go out since there's nothing to eat (aka there's no hot dinner on the table). So I made him a quick hamburger and the girls made themselves some ramen noodles. Does that make me a bad mom? Ramen noodles are gross. I bought them for the first time last week and the kids think they're heavenly. I had a roomate (actually a suitemate) in boarding school who was bulimic and was always barfing up ramen noodles so I cannot or will not ever eat them for this reason.

.....

Emi's play was cancelled tonight because no one knew their lines (except her, she really does have them all memorized)