Marraige

I've never been a consistant journal writer but there's something kind of cool about blogging. I guess it's becuase it's out there in this cyber cloud, where someone could actually read it if they wanted to. Wierd. Someone I don't know (or worse, someone I do) could read my deepest thoughts here. I'm sorry if you're reading.
I haven't told anyone about this blog yet. It's still my little secret. I told Taylor I started one but I didn't tell him what it's called (because it's such an unlikely name). But I doubt he'll remember I told him I started one anyway. Which brings me to my topic of the day. Marraige. Now if I'm going to document my life, or parts of it, I might as well have some goals. Something I'm working towards and tracking the progress of. So I'm going to start an experiment. And you, my friend, can read along and find out if it works. Now don't skip to the end. I'm basing this experiment/goal off something my mom told me.
People become what you tell them they are. I want to see if that's true. I'm not proud of this, but I have a list in my head of how I would change my husband if I could. And sometimes I tell him a thing or two on the list. But the problem is it's in a negative way "could you please pick up after yourself" or "I really wish you would take out the trash", etc. etc. which he does not respond well to. This is bad and I am the first to admit it. But the first step in changing is seeing what needs to change. I see it. It's only taken me 12 years, but hey, I'm slow. I get that our marraige could be much better and it starts with me. As Confucious said, "The journey of a thousand miles begins with one step." So here's my first step, admission. Whew. Now, my proposal. Every day for the next 30 days, I will find one positive thing to say to my husband. I will write what I said on my blog, and I will also write his reaction and how things change. Now please understand my husband is loving and good and I have much to be grateful for from him. I also see that our marraige is less than it could be. We argue over dumb things sometimes and don't praise eachother enough. We are also both very busy and with 3 kids, have many unfinished conversations every day. But still, I will try. I think I can make a difference in our marraige. I hope I can say this one positive thing every day without sounding fake, which is sad..I should be doing this all the time anyway. But hey, there's that much more room for improvement. Wish me luck.